I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
this will be a night to untag.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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