we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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