There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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