i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
