careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
