Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
