butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
