The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
