Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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