I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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