My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have feelings that need drinking.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
