she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Apparently you make a good broom.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
