I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
