: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
