Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
