he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Houston, we have a squirter
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
