it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
