I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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