I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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