I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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