You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize