Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize