i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They took my balls.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
