Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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