Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
This house was built for laser tag.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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