Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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