He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
