i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
