dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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