So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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