Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
