Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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