When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
