ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
