Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
