i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
