Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize