It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
should my penis look like a turkey
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
