you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
