My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize