In the future we'll all be gay
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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