I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you will always have a special place in my vag
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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