im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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