Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
