3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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