she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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