Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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