Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
