Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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