i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
