You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
