I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
