Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's blow job season.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
