I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
