the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
