you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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