Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My bed smells like the plague
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
