you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
