K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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