You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
