I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize