So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
