I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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