Midget sex pt 2 tonight
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
